my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
