I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
is wine microwaveable?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
