btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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