I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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