just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
