I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
