I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
