He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
