I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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