In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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