I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
