Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
