i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
