if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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