I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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