I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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