his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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