Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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