Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
