Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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