He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think people are normalizing furries
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
