i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
