your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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