Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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