Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
