Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
