Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
