the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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