New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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