Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
