I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
