There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
