Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
