jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
