i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
