he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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