Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
