I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
