Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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