I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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