Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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