I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
