scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
