thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
