it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
