Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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