Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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