Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
