I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
