Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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